Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
