i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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