it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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