why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
