I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
