I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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