hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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