yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
