normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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