It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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