You're my little dorito
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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