If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize