So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
