if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
