There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
