It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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