Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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