im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
