Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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