I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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