She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
