never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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