Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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