he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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