Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
