How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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