Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
