I could have mohawked her pubes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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