Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Randomize
