i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
