how can u be prego again
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
