508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
