Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
there was a trapeze. enough said
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
