Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
