im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They have beer where we have blood.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
