Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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