That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
