so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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