Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
