your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
