I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
