$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
