I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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