Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
