Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
nutella sex= disaster
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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