Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
