hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
