He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You may now shotgun with the bride
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
