I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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