I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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