Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
