Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
